Amina, Tara, & Peter (Chapter One Hundred Fifty Million)

Ok. Let me just say this. This will be the LAST time that I post about the highly dysfunctional, three-way relationship that is #LHHNY's Amina, Tara, and Peter. To be honest, the back and forth between all of them is starting to wear on my nerves, and well...I. Just. Can't.

One thing that has struck a nerve with me, though, is the statement that Peter made on the last episode (I believe). He took all the blame for the hurt that he has inflicted on Tara and Amina. Even though Peter does shoulder most of the blame for this situation in which he most certainly is the common denominator, cheating and impregnating another woman while married, there is someone else that should shoulder as much blame as him, and that is Tara.

We go so hard on Amina. Although Amina has accepted much more abhorrent, disgusting behavior from Peter than I ever could, I almost can see Amina's...I don't want to say "logic"...let's just say "motivation", for allowing herself to become pregnant by Peter (even though she aborted THIS child, it is widely reported that she is pregnant again). We may call her "stupid", but what we have to understand is that at the end of the day, this is her HUSBAND. Not her "sided***", not her "bae", this is her husband. Biblically, loving, supporting, and PROCREATING with her husband is what she is supposed to do. Amina married Peter because she LOVED him, and she is trying to make her marriage work. Now, I know that by now, I would have left Peter, or slit his damn throat, whichever came first, but I still understand that she loves her husband. That's her motivation. But that damn Tara...

Tara pretends to be this super confident, strong black woman, but nothing, and I mean NADA--none of her actions personify this independent sister that she wants for us to see. Tara is the key, the "tie that binds", mind you, that keeps this whole mess going. Let me break this down for you young sistas (older, like Tara, if you don't know already): In a relationship, a man is only going to do what a woman allows him to do. If Tara wasn't welcoming Peter with open arms, willing to spread her legs at his beck and call, then she wouldn't be a single mother of almost 3. When I was going thru it with one of my boyfriends, when he wanted to see his son, he came and picked him up; if my son wanted to see him, I took him to his dad. You can't sit around under me...we don't have to be around each other for you to be a father to your son. That's how you handle that. Peter didn't just fall in the p****; Tara threw him a rope and pulled him in! You can't move into the same building with your kids' father, knowing you still have feelings for him, but claiming it's for the kids. No, bitch, it's for YOU! Do you think I would have moved into an apartment building with my children's father, and he's married to another woman? Hell no! Tara did it because she still wants Peter. Eh, Tara, if you like it I love it, but you're still a damn fool!

 Tara had the nerve to tell Amina that Amina wants her life and that's why she allowed herself to become pregnant. Now, damn, Tara. She wants YOUR life? Really? And what life is that? Peter has children with four other women, so...what life are you speaking of? The life of a single mother? Not hard to get that. The life of a woman that KNOWINGLY gets pregnant by another woman's husband, thinking she's proving a point, but only making herself look ridiculous? The life of a woman that that was Peter's girlfriend for 13 years, but couldn't get a ring? What life does she want, Tara? Enlighten me, because I am seriously confused. Amina slept with, and became pregnant by her husband, because that's what most wives do. If she's using a baby to hold on to Peter, what's your excuse? Isn't that why you waited until you were 18 weeks to reveal...Peter couldn't ask for an abortion then, and you know that he would. No, Amina's not thirsty, but you're dying of dehydration! And when did the wife have to start asking for permission from the sidechick to get pregnant by her own husband? I don't see why Tara doesn't see the logic in this.

But what's funny is...Tara has the nerve to act indignant. As if she really has a place to be mad in this situation. There wouldn't BE a situation if it weren't for Tara. I almost sympathize with her, though. You have to be a sad person, devoid of self-worth, to compete for a trophy that isn't worth winning. She's a beautiful, smart woman, and hopefully reality will set in, because this... Tara could have shut this sh** down a long time ago, if she loved herself more that she loved Peter. If she were really "doing this for the kids", then she wouldn't be in this baseline, ghetto relationship that is her, Amina, and Peter. I could go on, but long story short, I'm sick and damn tired of seeing this bullsh** that is these three. Can #LHHNY come up with another story line for these three...please?

They say love is blind...they didn't say it was deaf, dumb, and retarded, too. *sigh*

#WeGottaTalk
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Ladies, it's YOUR fault! Stop Getting Pregnant!

Yall need to cut that mess out! Out here getting pregnant, and it's all YOUR fault! Yes, YOUR fault! You provided the sperm YOURself, you laid down by YOURself, inseminated YOURself, and got pregnant, all by YOUR lonely self! So getting pregnant is YOUR fault!

Yeah, right! GTFOH with all that...

Lately, we've been inundated with reports of Fetty Wap blaming Masika Kalysha for getting pregnant, accusing her of trying to "trap him". Now, isn't that ironic? Imagine that... He allegedly told her that because she didn't believe in abortion (he wanted her to have one), she must not believe in protection, either. Huh?

Then, there's Beyonce's pappy, Matthew Knowles, who has been forced by the courts to provide to provide medical insurance, back child support, and current child support to one of the children that he conceived outside of his marriage to Mama Knowles.  He blames his baby's mother, stating that she should have had an abortion, which he claims he gave her over $200K as hush money, in hopes that she would do. According to many on social media, she should take care of the baby on her own, because she knew he was married when she slept with him. Please!!!!!!

We don't have to look to the stars. We all know some ignorant kneegrow that claims that any child conceived that he didn't want, is no fault of his.  How does one even come to this conclusion?

When a man and a woman consent to sleep with one another, if a child is conceived of that union, then both parents are to blame.  Fetty Wap has a song called "Trap Queen". You mean to tell me he knows about cooking dope, but not how to NOT get caught up by a "trap queen"? So, he's really dumb enough to believe that any woman that says she is on birth control, actually IS on birth control? And even if she were, what if she had HIV? Birth control doesn't prevent a person from contracting STDs.  The sooner we learn that, the better.

It doesn't matter the circumstances under which a child was conceived (unless a rape was involved--different story).  If a woman knows a man is married, it is not her responsibility to protect him.  It's his responsibility, both to himself, and to his spouse.  He has as much responsibility for conceiving that child as the woman that he conceived it with, and all the responsibility that comes with the birthing and raising of said child.  So all that other mess, it's a moot point. Let's stop blaming the women for something that they can not, and did not, do on their own.

And women, we must do better at choosing who we allow to permeate our walls of trust, becoming "baby mamas" for men that don't love us enough to respect you as their child's mother. Men that call us out of our names, accuse us of "trapping them", fail to play a part of their child's life, physically, mentally, and financially (without the force of the courts). We must make better choices. We have to--our kids are depending on us. 

"Stop blaming others for their part, and start taking responsibility for the part YOU played"--Jerry Corstens

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Get You a "R.A.M." in the Bush!

Are you familiar with the biblical story of the "Ram in the Bush"?  If not, feel free to educate yourself.  This is not Bible study, so the R.A.M in the bush that I'm speaking of is a totally different kind of ram...

Today's lesson, boys and girls, is about having a different kind of "R.A.M. in the bush".  What is a R.A.M., you ask? A R.A.M. is someone that would NOT have allowed Chris Brown to be photographed doing this: 

 

A R.A.M in their camp would have told BBOD that their song "Thot-Thot-Talicious"  was a hot damn mess, and that the only thing worse than the title, were the damn lyrics.

 

A "R.A.M in the bush" wouldn't have Tara (#LHHNY) outchea looking like a damn fool, arguing over who deserves the title of dumbest sidechick.  

A "R.A.M", my friends, is an acronym, short for a "Real A** Mutha*****", and if you don't have one in  your life, get you one, quickly!

See, a R.A.M. would have told Chris Brown, before he was all on Instagram threatening anyone that happened to even share the same air space as Karrueche "Eh, man.  Chill out with that sh**. These ninjas gotchu outchea lookin' stupid as hell. Stop actin' like a bitch."

A R.A.M would have told Tara that she looks hella stupid competing for the affections of a man that she has "sidechicked" for, for almost 15 years.  She was the sidechick when he met her, he married Amina instead of her, and she's STILL his sidechick! And she keeps making babies with this dude! All the "peter" in New York (if you're from the south, you know "peter" is "penis"), and they are still fighting over Peter Gunz? If she had a Real Azz Mutha***** on her side...maybe we'd be seeing a different Tara. A R.A.M. doesn't sugar coat a damn thing! In the words of my mother, they tell it like it T-I-S! Like it or not! Tara needs a R.A.M in her life!

I have a R.A.M. (I had 2, but one died several years ago, may she RIP). I love my R.A.M., my Nikki, to def! She's been a friend of mine since high school, and she's one of the realest chicks I know. If I ever need advice about anything, and I want to be told the honest, sometimes brutal truth, that's who I call.  Too many times we surround ourselves with "yes people", people that co-sign our bull****; they tell us what we want to hear because it is advantageous to them.  It may be because they fear losing the friendship, or sometimes, the friendship is financially beneficial, like with these celebrities.  I mean, it never should have taken sooooooo long to tell the Queen of Soul that her tig-ol-bitties were toooooo damn long for her to be wearing all those strapless dresses she was wrapping herself in.  Guess she finally got a R.A.M in the bush, too, huh?

We all need a R.A.M on our side, during those times when we are about to do some questionable ish... A R.A.M doesn't tell you what you want to hear; they tell you what you need to hear! Do you have a R.A.M in the bush?

Are You a R.A.M.? Get Your R.A.M T-shirt here! 

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Future Wages War on Cici!!!

Ciara vs Future

courtesy rapup.com

Future has his guns out for Ciara, aka Cici, and he's comin' a'blazin! He claims that he is paying $15,000 monthly for child support, but Ciara won't let him see his son. Then comes the collective judgment of instagram and twitter... *sigh*

Ok, let's go ahead and put it out there...

NONE OF US WERE THERE, SO WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

You have men on twitter, butt-hurt and all in their feelings, because of whatever past or present baby-momma situations they have going on, calling Ciara everything but a child of God.  Some of these females are going hard (and I feel you), but we honestly have to admit, like the men: We don't know what's going on behind closed doors. How can we honestly judge Future and Ciara's situation, if we are not privy to the ins-and-outs of their parental relationship? #1. We can't. #2. It's not our job to judge, although the way that we go in on these celebrity relationships, you would think that we get W-2's for criticizing.

All we do know is this: 1. Future has many baby-mommas, including Ciara. 2. Ciara has dated other rappers, but has no other children. 3. Ciara loved Future. 4. Something happened (infidelity, allegedly) and their engagement was broken off. 5. They have a handsome little boy that they call "Baby Future". 6. Ciara has moved on. 7. Future enjoys bashing Ciara in the media (and tends to act like a bitter baby-daddy; I'm not judging, but I can be a little biased, though). 8.  Future alleges that he pays $15K per month in child support, but is not allowed to see his child. 

If Ciara really isn't allowing Future to see his son, I hope that she has a valid reason to support that decision.  I do know that Future calling Ciara a "bitch" on social media is not going to help his case, whatsoever. Yet, I am not the one that she has to explain it to, so instead of judging their situation, let's learn something from it. Because, trust and believe, whatever they are going through, they are doing it quite better than most of us. A lot of you don't even know the state that your baby-daddy resides in...so you really don't have the place to talk about Ciara. Too many of you guys don't know when you even saw your children last, so you definitely don't have room to talk about Future. For those mothers and fathers that are doing it right, I salute you!

Let's just agree to this: Let's hope that Future takes a cue from Ciara, and learns how to handle things as a grown man, and not a child throwing a tantrum. I hope that they are able to work out their differences for Baby Future, because if not, Baby Future will suffer most from this chaotic situation, much more than his parents.

#WeGottaTalk
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Iman Shumpert's Out Here Killing the Dreams of a Nation!

Yall, #WeGottaTalk! For many, like myself, Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert had become the symbol of "young love", or as is popular on social media, definitely #RelationshipGoals. We have courted and loved with them. We have enjoyed their funny moments, as well as their loving ones. We were pregnant with Teyana, and shared their joy when she gave birth, into the arms of her adoring fiancee. Who can forget the two showing up at a halloween party dressed as Pinky and one of his "hoes"? Or the picture of him lifting his queen into the air as he exalted her praises, as the love of his life and future mother of his child? Then I woke up this morning to one of my favorite celebrity blogs, Fameolous, and saw this:

No, Cletus, say it ain't so! I've been rockin' with this couple from the beginning. They had become the epitome of young black love for this new generation (and older ones, like myself, lol!). The way that Iman expressed his love for Teyana had all the girls swooning, hoping and praying that one day, they would have a man to adore them in the way that he did Teyana. So what's with the BS, Iman? When Fameoulous initially hinted at some "inappropriateness" on Shumpert's part, I was like, "eh, everything isn't always what it seems." Let's just say that I know from experience, so I still gave Iman the benefit of the doubt...

Damn, Cletus. Damn. After going to the Fameolous website for the tea (which I won't spill, you will have to visit here to sip for yourself), all I can do is drop my head. I hope that what's laid out isn't true, because if it is, not only is Iman going to have to deal with a mad black woman at home, but he and his teammate, Kyrie Irving, look to be in some legal trouble, too. All for a little "thot-of-ass". smh... Why, Iman?!?!? Why?!?!?! All the hopes and dreams of black women across the nation hinged on the faithfulness, love, integrity, and committment exemplied in your relationship with our dear Teyana, especially with the birth of your child. You can't be killing the dreams of the masses like this!

No, but seriously, though, a lot of people did model relationship standards after what they thought was Teyana and Iman's perfect relationship. This just goes to show that no matter how perfect a relationship you think someone has, you never really know what's going on behind closed doors. I wish them the best, and hope that this piping hot tea turns out to not be exactly what it looks like. I honestly want to see these two young, black, successful individuals win at life, and in love! No one wants to see the demise of their relationship play out in the blogs. So with that being said, I leave you with this: Fameolous ain't the blog to be played with, but if you want the tea, Fameolous is the place to be! I'm just saying...

#WeGottaTalk
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That Ol' Throwback Kinda Love

So, I was talking to my girl friend the other day, and we heard this classic R&B single by Karyn White, "Can I Stay With You", come on the radio.  Oh, we threw our hands in the air like we were in church, and Karyn was the pastor! *Preach!!!* That song brought back so many memories! "Never felt so good before, never dreamed I would explore, making love in the positions that you've got me doing...."  We continued to talk and reminisce as the song played, and the subject of "old loves" became the topic of conversation.

Now, I'm going to be honest. My girl Lisa and I did some HEAVY dirt back in the day!  I wouldn't say we were hoes back then, but uhh....we were hoes back then! lol! But tasteful, tactful hoes, though! We're reformed hoes now, as we've put all of that way, way behind us, but sometimes, it does feel good to reminisce.  One rule I had back in the day, though, was to never sleep with the same person too many times, because you will most definitely "catch feelings", and falling in love was not the name of the game.  Still, sometimes it happened, and we definitely had friends that we caught feelings for...

So, Lisa tells me that one of her "old flames" had sent her an email, and that they had been chatting back and forth via email and texts, and sometimes by phone.  She's married now (we both are), and as much as she loves her husband, she confesses to me that she has never stopped loving her old flame.  He was such a special part of her life. He helped her through some very traumatic moments in her life, and he's always been her ideal man.  Due to circumstances beyond both their control, their lives took separate directions, and they both ended up marrying different people. Yet he's always held a special place in Lisa's heart.

via GIPHY

She hasn't made a move yet...so this story is subject to change at any moment. And I most definitely will keep you updated.

Do you have an old flame that still burns in your heart?
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