LHHNY: Breaking News! Tara Won!

First of all, riddle me this:  Who in the hell vies for the position of eternal side chick? I know, I know!!!!!!! You, Tara Wallace! Now, come on down, and get your prize! For being a sidechick to Peter "One Hit Wonda" Gunz for almost 20 years, holding him down while he even married another woman, and continuing to breed with "Dutty Foot" Gunz, you've won the grand prize of....

Nothing.  You've got Peter Gunz and that amounts to...not a damn thing. You do have another baby on the way, though, so congratulations on that, I guess??? *shrugs*

Seriously, though, seriously...I would laugh at this situation between Tara, Amina, and Peter, but it is so pathetic that it's really not funny.  The fact that we (women) have adopted this disorganized, dysfunctional relationship as the status quo, but call loving, respectful relationships "crazy" or "fake"---as if we really don't believe that real love exists, and think that these sort of dysfunctional relationships with unfaithful men is the best that we can ever hope to obtain. No. I rebuke it!

Tara was Peter's sidechick when she first met him.  After 13 years with him, all she had was 2 kids, some memories, and no ring.  What does Gunz do for her? He marries ANOTHER woman! Still not enough for Tara, though, as she reverts back to being the sidechick.  Sadly, she's trying to prove to Amina that she's top bitch in this threesome, but again, Who in the hell vies for the position of eternal side chick? 

Then, in a little subtweet beef last night on twitter, Tara subtweeted Amina:

Whoa.... Tara, YOU weren't married to Peter.  Remember, he bypassed you and married Amina. So when Amina married him, he was technically "single". But you got pregnant by a married man, so... (I must admit, this tweet made me laugh. It was then that I knew that Tara is way beyond the help that Dr. Jeff can provide!)

Then, there's this:

Why is she so concerned about WHY Amina married Peter? Why he married her should never be an issue; the fact that he married another woman while Tara was waiting patiently on the sidelines for 13 YEARS is what should get her panties in a bunch.  Tara will never let Peter go--he doesn't even have to make his own excuses, because she does it for him.

I know that Tara is not the only fool out there.  I've played myself before, and I'm sure that many of you have as well.  However, we are not living our lives out on a national stage.  I hope that those checks Mona Scott-Young are cutting to Tara and Amina (especially Tara) are sweeeeeeeet, I mean some fatties, because you'd have to pay me pretty damn good to make a fool of myself in front of the world. 

Word to Amina--Sista, cut your losses! Tara won this one, and you should be glad, because her prize is a gargantuan-sized ZERO! Besides, holding on to Mr. Wrong will only block your Mr. Right!  Tara and Peter deserve each other.  Stop fighting a battle that you will never win. Hell, at least you have a real talent. Use it, and prosper. (SN:  I wonder who Peter will impregnate next? I guess we'll see next season!)

Peace!
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Why Keep Having Babies When There's Birth Control?

I have a serious question: Why do women continue to have children that they know that they can not afford to raise, when most likely, they can get birth control for little or nothing? (If you can afford them, by all means, do you!)

Now, I'm not trying to shade anybody, but, hell, it is what it is.  I work in an office where we assist low-income families, and often times I wonder when these young women come into the office with 6, 7, even 9 kids, baby daddies no where to be found: Wouldn't it just be easier to get birth control? Why not get a tubal ligation (tubes tied)? Of course, I can't ask them that, so I just continue to do my job, unbiased.  Regardless of how I feel or what I think, my job is my job, and I don't mistreat anyone based on my personal ideals.

For instance, one young woman that I am familiar with has 8 children, and she's not even 30!  She's never had a job, has no high school diploma, and no car.  The state pays for housing (HUD), the state pays for medical insurance (Medicaid), the state pays for food (Food Stamps).  It just seems that somewhere, deep in the recesses of her mind, something would kick in and say "I can't afford all these damn babies.  Hell, I can barely keep the utilities on. Let me get my tubes tied/get on birth control."  A lot of people feel that individuals that receive welfare continue to have children to receive increased benefits.  That may be the case for some, but for most, I don't believe that is the motivation at all. I also understand that birth controls sometimes fail, but not 7 or 8 times!

I understand that everyone was not born and raised under the same set of circumstances.  Please don't believe that I was raised with a silver spoon in my mouth. Far from it! But I have learned that one can not prosper if they choose to play the role of victim, allowing life to just "happen", without understanding that we play a critical part in the decisions that affect us, and our decisions affect how life "happens" to us. We can not continue to blame society for all of our ills, as if we have absolutely no power over our life situations.  If we choose to remain "victims", then that's our choice, but why victimize our children? Our children are conceived and born by no fault of their own.  If we choose to live a sub-standard lifestyle, and birth control is readily available, then why choose that same sub-standard set of living conditions for our children?  I somewhat understand the first child, maybe the second, but when it comes to 3, 4, 5 children, and you have still done nothing to improve your life situation--I just don't get it. Men are just as responsible for this societal ill, but here's the thing: Momma's baby, Daddy's maybe. Daddy MAY or MAY not be there to help raise the youngn, but it's a full time responsibility for the mother, regardless. So we must protect ourselves!

I know that there are probably some serious psychological factors that I'm not taking into consideration. I acknowledge that. I also acknowledge that sometimes, we just make shit too deep.  Simply put, it doesn't take a psychologist to tell you that you ain't got sh**, so it would be wise to stop bringing babies into your effed up situation.  Sooner or later, we have to learn to take responsibility for our own lives, our own condition.  No one owes you ANYTHING! We owe it to ourselves, and to our children. Know better, do better!

Let's Talk About It
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Why "The People" Won't Let R. Kelly Off So Easily

Why "The People" Won't Let R. Kelly Off So Easily 

Recently, R. Kelly was interviewed by HuffPost Live host Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani as part of his promotion for his latest album, "The Buffet". This happens to be R. Kelly's 13th studio release. During the interview, R. Kelly thought that he would only be asked questions about the album, and that this would be a glossed over interview where none of the tough questions would be asked. To say the least, R. Kelly was unpleasantly surprised. Kelly was so miffed about the questions being asked, that he even walked off set, exclaiming that the "interview is over"! Modarressy-Tehrani played no games with Kelly, asking him questions about his latest release, but also making sure to ask Kelly about the allegations of sexual assault/abuse of young (black) girls, questions he has tap danced and pranced around, but have dogged him, for years, including his marriage in 1994 to R&B princess Aaliyah.

I started to not even touch on this topic, but then I read a blog comment regarding R. Kelly walking out of this interview, which Kelly himself likened to a deposition. The comment, summed up, said "Don't just blame R. Kelly because those wenches knew what they were doing". *Sighhhhhhh* *Sighhhhhhhh again* So, we're really still here, people? Really? And it wasn't just that one comment. It should surprise me how many people share that same "victim-blaming" mentality, but sadly, it doesn't. We live in a day and age where a rape or beating is more likely to be recorded and posted to social media, than to be stopped or police called. What hurts me, though, is how Black people, my people, have normalized this type of sexual predatory behavior in our Black communities. To have men sexualize our young daughters, to take advantage of their young impressionable minds, have almost become a cultural norm in the Black community, and our answer, when called on it, is that "it's been going on for years". May be, but that still doesn't make it right. Just because your granddaddy married a fifteen year old when he was 62 and it was accepted, sho' don't make it right.

Take this into consideration. If R. Kelly were a white man, preying on young, black teenage girls, would we still be taking up for him? Would we still be justifying his actions, blaming the victims as having somehow asked for their own victimization? Kelly has not been accused once. He has been accused of sexual assault dozens of times by young women, mainly through lawsuits. If Kelly was white, despite his success as an artist, we would have been yelling "sick bastard!" and we wouldn't have been satisfied until he were punished for his deviant behavior. How do we make this the victims' fault? How many of us young men and women have done things in our youth that we regret, some of things life-altering events? As a teenage girl growing up idolizing one of the biggest R&B stars of our time, do we really think that it was hard for Kelly to coerce young women into sleeping with him? He is R. Kelly, right? But here's the thing, just because they acquiesced to his wishes, does not make them responsible.  That's why there are such laws as statutory rape laws.  These laws understand that minors are not known for making responsible decisions, and that ordinarily, they are immature and do not have the same sensibilities as adults.  As adults, we should know better.  R. Kelly should know better. I remember when I was a kid, and my sister asked me if I wanted a jheri curl like Michael Jackson. I was like "yeah!" I mean, who didn't want to be like Mike? When she cut my hair, and my mother found out, she was incensed! My shoulder length hair was now no longer than 2 inches long! Was I responsible for my sister's decision? No, because I was a child, and I acted, and thought, as a child would. My sister, as an adult, should have known better. See how that works?

We are in a social media driven age, and "The People" want answers.  A jury may have found him innocent in a court of law, but that does not mean that he is not guilty of deviant behavior with underaged girls! I saw the tape!  Because they are black girls, does not mean that we should not hold him accountable as if he were, say white. I hate it, but I guess R. Kelly's career can be summed up in this tweet:

I'm just saying...

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